“So, Tasha, what do you think?” There is a momentary silence as Tasha attempts to digest what she has just heard, and let her thought process work on a response. But before she can get through her internal reflection, the manager jumps in and continues: “The ramp-up time shouldn’t be more than six weeks, and I think we have plenty of capable staff that can get this project up and running on time…okay, if you have no objection, then, let’s run with it.”
Why did the manager not allow Tasha sufficient time to digest, reflect on and respond to his inquiry? Did he interpret her silence as not liking the idea and so decide to turn up his persuasion skills? Was he too impatient to let Tasha think through his idea and formulate a thoughtful response? Or was he simply not comfortable with the silence, feeling compelled to fill in the gap and come to closure?
Given a situation where silence falls into that space between or among people, one person will frequently rush to fill in that gap to avoid the awkwardness that most people feel. This discomfort and response usually happens at the unconscious level, and so we are not even aware that we are doing it. But silence, if you can learn to become more comfortable with it, can be a very powerful tool in the workplace. Those who are effective facilitators and negotiators know this well.
One area where the power of silence is especially evident is in the employment interview. As the interviewer, one of the most effective strategies you can use is to allow sufficient silence after asking a question. This pause allows a candidate to reflect and formulate an appropriate response. Learn to give a person that space. All too often the interviewer will fill in the void with another question, or worse – offer the answer that they were looking for.
Another way to use silence in the interview is after the candidate has answered a question, particularly if the answer is insufficient. Instead of rushing to ask the next question, just relax, keep eye contact with the candidate (be careful not to stare) and patiently maintain the silence. See what the candidate does to fill in that space. You might be surprised at what will be revealed to you.
Silence can be very effective in meetings as well. Sometimes when the room becomes silent, there can be an opportunity for creative ideas and insights to emerge. The unaware manager, however, will cut this process short: “Any questions? No? Good! Let’s move on…..” When this occurs, people who had an inkling of an idea to share will likely just let it go. It leaves one to wonder: how many great ideas and solutions are being left behind in the meeting room because there was insufficient space and silence to let them come to the surface.?
In today’s workplace with its fast pace and expectation of quick answers, there is frequently a lack of opportunity to fully listen to one another and let the thought process have sufficient time to do its work. Let’s slow down, learn to be comfortable with some open space, and take advantage of the benefits that silence can offer.
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